Friday, March 18, 2016

It's Going to be Different for Me

When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I had gone to the doctor's thinking I was having knee problems. I was surprised that what was hurting were trigger points inside my knees. I also learned I had 13 out of 18 painful to the touch.

Source: Mayo Clinic
At this time, I had a friend, Katherine, who also had fibro. However, she had waited until she was unable to get out of bed for a year before going to see a doctor. Her husband had to carry her to the bathroom. She did not think I could have fibro, because I was not in as much pain (yet) as she was.

I was going to be different. I was diagnosed early on, and I was willing to take medication to manage the symptoms. My friend had decided to treat it by eating a macrobiotic diet and using homeopathic remedies, such as ginger plasters. 

Now, I understand what my friend meant when she did not think I had fibro. It is a very different animal today than it was when I was diagnosed in July 2005. I understand when she had to plan carefully if we were making a shopping trip to the city. 

Fifteen months later, I started going through a very stressful time, and I was managing my symptoms. They were increasing, and the pain medication dosage was increasing, too, but I was still managing.

I am speaking about my friend in the past tense because she passed away in June 2009, just 20 days after our last shopping trip. It was unexpected, and I was so glad we had that last trip together. It had been months because I was in college then. 

Katherine has a special place in my heart. She always had such a sweet disposition, and no one would have guessed she was in constant pain. She and her home had such a calming presence, it was a pleasure to go share a cup of tea and chat with her.

And, it is not different for me. Now, I spend my days in pain - my triceps are very painful today, making typing this difficult. It seems like one thing after another is going wrong in my body. (If you are interested in learning more about that, type "fibromyalgia" in my search box.)  

Like her, I cannot work, and I need it calm. Taking a shopping trip is a major chore that has to be carefully planned. Like her, I rarely leave my sanctuary, because it is so tiring. Saying that, I understand why my triceps are screaming at me today - I went out and about the last three days.

One of the places I went to. I highly recommend it!
It is hard to accept, because I want it to be the way it used to be. I want to be able to do all the things I used to do. 

What about you? Has your life changed since you were diagnosed?